21 Jul
2010
Whilst walking my dog, a child on a bicycle pedaled on up to me and started a conversation. It went like this:
Boy: "What's his name?"
Me: "Augie."
Boy: "What is he?"
I decided not to be a smarmy ass hole to some random kid, so instead of saying dog, I said...
Me: "He's an airedale terrier."
Boy: "Is he an achiever?"
This question took me by surprise. I felt sad for the boy, as his father was clearly one of those crazy ass Texas Football dad who love to yell things like, "You're either a dreamer, or an achiever! WHICH IS IT?" This poor boy, now forced to categorize everything in his world as either an achiever, or useless. And, apparently, my musing on his home life and psychological development took a bit long, because the boy decided to rephrase the question.
Boy: "Does he achieve?"
Now, Augie is a bit like his owner, in that he's a goal setter, but lacks some follow through. I'm sure, if he put his mind to it, he could win a ribbon at something.
Me: "Well, we haven't really..."
The boy interrupted me at this point.
Boy: "Like, you throw a ball and he achieves it, and brings it back."
Retrieve. Got it. He didn't have a horribly overbearing father who spewed retarded platitudes in between plays on television. He simply... and I noticed this now... had a speech impediment. I would have written his statements with the impediment included, but that would be rude.
As for Augie's retrieving abilities, you see, he's a bit like me. He's a goal setter, but lacks on the follow through...