Ninja Toast! http://ninjatoast.com Important part of a balanced Kung Fu Breakfast posterous.com Mon, 06 Feb 2012 12:27:02 -0800 In the Tradition of the Great Super Villians http://ninjatoast.com/in-the-tradition-of-the-great-super-villians http://ninjatoast.com/in-the-tradition-of-the-great-super-villians I have decided to add "Inscribe my name in the moon with a giant laser" to my bucket list. I realize that "blow up the moon" is a fairly popular one as well, but I like tides, so I'll stick with inscription. 

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:01:03 -0800 Is this thing on? http://ninjatoast.com/is-this-thing-on http://ninjatoast.com/is-this-thing-on <tap tap> Hello? 

It's been a while, huh?

Blogging has changed quite a bit in the last few years. With the rise of social media, it's become easier than ever to find some people to hear your voice, while at the same time, it has become easier to get lost in the crowd. I've done the social media thing, and it's left me feeling like I've neglected myself. I've written some great things that have gotten lost in the stream, and written many more banal things that are thankfully gone forever. But they're gone because I ceded control over my message* to someone else. 

I've decided to change that. I'm coming back to my blog. It's still hosted on someone else's platform, but I retain a copy of everything I post here, and I can move my domain and content any time I choose. So don't test me, Posterous. 

*Whatever that is.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:33:20 -0800 This is the stupidest arcade ever!! The only games they have is Washers and Dryers!! http://ninjatoast.com/this-is-the-stupidest-arcade-ever-the-only-ga http://ninjatoast.com/this-is-the-stupidest-arcade-ever-the-only-ga @meganamram http://twitter.com/meganamram/status/133264420917882880

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:18:21 -0700 Kim Kardashian files for divorce after 72 days. Another example of how same-sex marriage is destroying the sanctity of the very institution. http://ninjatoast.com/kim-kardashian-files-for-divorce-after-72-day http://ninjatoast.com/kim-kardashian-files-for-divorce-after-72-day @GeorgeTakei http://twitter.com/GeorgeTakei/status/131062071424073728

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Sun, 30 Oct 2011 13:48:23 -0700 20 bucks says Theriot gets ticketed for jaywalking at the parade #tootblan http://ninjatoast.com/20-bucks-says-theriot-gets-ticketed-for-jaywa http://ninjatoast.com/20-bucks-says-theriot-gets-ticketed-for-jaywa @harrypav http://twitter.com/harrypav/status/130732145273602048

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Fri, 28 Oct 2011 20:33:15 -0700 The worst part is the Rangers had a Mission Accomplished banner in the locker room. http://ninjatoast.com/the-worst-part-is-the-rangers-had-a-mission-a http://ninjatoast.com/the-worst-part-is-the-rangers-had-a-mission-a @JoeMande http://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/130124336295186433

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Thu, 20 Oct 2011 19:18:24 -0700 Time To Take Out The Recycling http://ninjatoast.com/time-to-take-out-the-recycling http://ninjatoast.com/time-to-take-out-the-recycling
Img_20111020_173934

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:06:35 -0700 First time with chili http://ninjatoast.com/first-time-with-chili http://ninjatoast.com/first-time-with-chili
Img_20111017_175437

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Sun, 16 Oct 2011 07:48:36 -0700 My Toddler Loves My Baby http://ninjatoast.com/my-toddler-loves-my-baby http://ninjatoast.com/my-toddler-loves-my-baby
Img_20111016_093210

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:31:13 -0700 Finally Fall http://ninjatoast.com/finally-fall http://ninjatoast.com/finally-fall
Photo

Our first chilly morning, it's 60 degrees!

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Tue, 04 Oct 2011 08:17:00 -0700 Drinking Mud http://ninjatoast.com/drinking-mud http://ninjatoast.com/drinking-mud

When I was five or six, a friend and I found a mud puddle in my driveway. 

No, we didn't have to look very hard.

We got into an argument about whether or not this little depression in the driveway was filled with chocolate milk or not. 

Not to ruin the end of the story, but it was not chocolate milk. 

Determined to settle this argument scientifically, I ran inside, and brought back a spoon. We took turns tasting the muddy water, until, after 10 or 15 sips, we decided it was water. I was never really convinced, though. I thought we had discovered an unending source of chocolate milk, and I wouldn't even have to ask my parents to help me stir the syrup* into the milk. 

* Bosco, mother fucker!

I'm certain that whatever kills me will be traced back to this incident. 

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Sat, 01 Oct 2011 17:18:20 -0700 If I had shoes that I could click together and use to teleport, you bet your ass I wouldn't go to Kansas. http://ninjatoast.com/if-i-had-shoes-that-i-could-click-together-an http://ninjatoast.com/if-i-had-shoes-that-i-could-click-together-an @IamMsMoneypenny http://bit.ly/p9qIl0
via ifttt

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Sat, 01 Oct 2011 07:03:09 -0700 The next time you replace my regular coffee with Folgers Crystals, I will kill your kids while they sleep. http://ninjatoast.com/the-next-time-you-replace-my-regular-coffee-w http://ninjatoast.com/the-next-time-you-replace-my-regular-coffee-w @WarrenHolstein http://bit.ly/qyu4oR
via ifttt

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Fri, 30 Sep 2011 08:48:36 -0700 Thanks to my attempts at explaining gravity my son he now believes it's a mysterious force that makes birds and rabbits stick to you. http://ninjatoast.com/thanks-to-my-attempts-at-explaining-gravity-m http://ninjatoast.com/thanks-to-my-attempts-at-explaining-gravity-m @dhewlett http://bit.ly/oIvQHc
via ifttt

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Thu, 29 Sep 2011 11:48:27 -0700 When I was a kid I thought I would eat ice cream and pizza every day, but now that I’m an adult, I can’t lift myself out of bed. http://ninjatoast.com/when-i-was-a-kid-i-thought-i-would-eat-ice-cr http://ninjatoast.com/when-i-was-a-kid-i-thought-i-would-eat-ice-cr @GuyEndoreKaiser http://bit.ly/qY2MzB
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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Wed, 28 Sep 2011 07:02:00 -0700 Do you see it? http://ninjatoast.com/accidental-dong http://ninjatoast.com/accidental-dong

Photo

photo K.H.

Hat tip to http://deadspin.com for the idea, with their weekly Unintentional Dong feature. 

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Mon, 26 Sep 2011 12:18:35 -0700 10yo: "I tell funny jokes but some people really hate them." Me: "That means the jokes are probably funnier than you realize." http://ninjatoast.com/10yo-i-tell-funny-jokes-but-some-people-reall http://ninjatoast.com/10yo-i-tell-funny-jokes-but-some-people-reall @johnmoe http://bit.ly/n8VzzB
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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Mon, 26 Sep 2011 09:04:12 -0700 It's weird how Snoop Dogg called that country Brazil and them we all started pretending it was always called that and not Bril. http://ninjatoast.com/its-weird-how-snoop-dogg-called-that-country http://ninjatoast.com/its-weird-how-snoop-dogg-called-that-country @johnmoe http://bit.ly/r0FUnC
via ifttt

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Fri, 23 Sep 2011 17:19:00 -0700 I Can Only Imagine the Initiation http://ninjatoast.com/i-can-only-imagine-the-initiation http://ninjatoast.com/i-can-only-imagine-the-initiation

Natasha_yar_2364

Tonya: So, did you know that the security officer Yarr spent her formative years being chased by rape gangs?

Me: I... did not know that. 

T: Well, now you do.

Me: What, exactly, is a rape gang?

T: I think you have to take it at face value. A group joined together with the common goal of getting their rape on. 

T: How do they get anywhere?

Me: The Rape Train?

T: Well, I guess that's a possibility.

This is why we don't have friends.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner Thu, 22 Sep 2011 16:18:29 -0700 My son pulls his penis in his sleep, just like the founding fathers of Penisland. http://ninjatoast.com/my-son-pulls-his-penis-in-his-sleep-just-like http://ninjatoast.com/my-son-pulls-his-penis-in-his-sleep-just-like @rejecter http://bit.ly/pTDAHx
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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/730458/smile.jpg http://posterous.com/users/4aAOXyot5ayl Marty Bonner Marty Marty Bonner